Couple's Therapy: How much would you want to know about your partner's exes? We ask 3 Nigerian men

Couple's Therapy: How much would you want to know about your partner's exes? We ask 3 Nigerian men
Couple039s Therapy How much would you want to know about

Last Updated on July 19, 2021 by MyGh.Online


Sometimes we miss people we have been with for a long time. That got me thinking, “Is it okay for women to remain friends with their exes?” After all, they are “just” friends.

Should men care about their women’s past sexual escapades? Should they even ask? Are men comfortable with the knowledge of who their partners have been with?

I was curious about this. So, I decided to ask three Nigerian men what they thought.

When I asked if they would want to know how many people their girlfriend or wife had sex with before them.

Fisayo had this to say; “No, it is their past.”

Shina said, “I am not sure I would like to know, because of my mental health. I wouldn’t want a situation where I begin to assume unnecessary things about her. If she has too many nasty stories, I will assume she is a freak with an appetite I can’t satisfy.”

I asked, “How do you feel about your partner talking about their ex or constantly referencing them?”

When it comes to speaking highly of their exes or just talking about them in general, they all said “It depends on the circumstances” and how their partners go about it.

Then I asked, “Are you fine with your partners being friends with their exes?”

Fisayo said, “No, I’m not fine with my partner being friends with their ex. I like to keep the past in the past. They can be cordial though.”

This seems contradictory but in a way I get it. They could still say few words to each other but not have an active, consistent friendship.

Shina said, “If they are still in contact that’s ok, but friends, I don’t think so. Some close ties should be severed to set boundaries and keep the sanity of the relationship.”

James said, “No, it’s not necessary.”

Depending on how the relationship ended, some of them were nostalgic, others were not.

Shina said, “I don’t miss the relationship. I only think about it once in a while, just wondering how I was a fool and didn’t quit when I should have”

James said, “Yes, I miss her. I really loved her.”

Fisayo said, “Yes I do miss her, I miss the friendship more because right now we are no longer friends”

It appears that when we are in a new relationship, we owe it to ourselves and our partners to totally move on from the past.

Relationships and marriages are made up of two people who often have to make potentially difficult decisions. Couple’s Therapy is a content series that shines a light on how couples handle decisions and choices.

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